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Dear Nan, I’m not ready to say good-bye.

  • August 7, 2016
  • Blog

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On Thursday night my 96-year-old Nan had a fall in her bathroom.

She lay on the freezing cold tiles for almost ten hours, before her emergency buzzer started working again.

My poor Grandma laid there screaming for help and no one could hear her in her tiny little flat.

When I spoke to Nan, she told me that she wouldn’t close her eyes, as she was petrified she wouldn’t wake up again and that would be it.

Hearing her say that, I had tears rolling down my face, she must’ve been so scared.

Nan is now in ICU at Bathurst Hospital with some amazing nurses around her, giving her the best care.

I’m here in Perth and I feel helpless.

I called Mum this morning and I couldn’t speak to Nan as she was resting. Guttered, I then asked if I could send flowers to brighten her day, Mum then explained they didn’t have the space in ICU.

Feeling helpless, I thought what could I do?

Then it came to me, I’ll write to her and publish the letter.

Nan will feel so special and over joyed that I have published something about her on my website.

She loves the attention; I wonder whom I get that from?

Nan has always said to me, that I need to tell her all the nice things now whilst she is alive.

She said “Don’t save all the good stuff for my funeral, I wont hear it. I’ll be dead. Tell me all the nice things now.”

So here it is Nan, this is a special letter from me to you and its published so that everyone else can see how fantastic you are also!

 

Dearest Nan,

You gave me a HUGE fright on Friday morning; just thinking about you falling and laying alone on the cold tiles, brings tears to my eyes.

I Love you so much Nan, when I’m with you, you bring so much joy to my heart.

You are my kindred spirit and I absolutely adore you.

The things that come out of your mouth, sometimes sends me into fits of laughter.

We share the same sense of humour and I just love when you say exactly what you think.

You see, Nan, for my entire life I’ve got myself in lots of trouble for being too abrasive and far too honest and I reckon, this is a personality trait I have taken from you.

Growing up you made me so happy.

I loved going to stay with you an Pop in Lithgow.

You have always been, so kind and caring to Nick and I, and Ill cherish those memories forever.

Your roast dinners are hands down the best I’ve ever eaten.

Pop’s greens from the garden, and your gravy were the best.

I can taste it now just thinking about it.

When we’d stay over, Nick and I would wake nice and early to jump into bed with you whilst Pop had his cup of tea out on the couch.

You would read us story after story and we would all snuggle up, with the electric blanket on full blast.

After we’d read, you would tell us stories about fairies and our imaginations would run wild.

I have never forgotten those times Nan and I will cherish them forever.

You are one of the most incredibly strong women I have ever met.

And as I grow and age gracefully like you have, I want to be just like you at 96.

You light up my world Nan and I honestly can’t imagine my life without you in it.

I’m truly blessed to have a character like you in my life that is not only my Grandmother but also my dear friend.

Our bond is very special and we share a connection that some people will never come across in a lifetime.

I have had the absolute pleasure of hearing some amazing stories from your life and I promise Ill tell my grandkids all about them one day, of course not some of them, as they are forever our secret.

We have laughed together, cried together and shared our raw, honest feelings and I am humbled that you chose to do that with me.

One of my favourite memories of mine Nan is when we met in Manly a few years ago and stayed right on the beach.

It had been your dream to ride the ferry and you hadn’t done it since you were a young woman.

We shared a room like we always did, the next morning I woke to you reading at 5am.

We spoke until 9am nonstop, we told each other many different stories.

Again, we laughed and we cried, both being the emotional women we are, this was a regular thing for us.

One minute we’d be laughing and the next we’re crying our eyes out.

We then had some breakfast and got dressed and we went to ride the ferry from Manly to Circular Quay.

You looked so damn beautiful standing up on the side of the boat with your hair blowing in the wind.

You turned to me and you said, “I feel 17 again”.

Mum and I had tears rolling down our cheeks, it was so incredible to be apart of that and I’ll never forget..

I could keep on reminiscing but Ill need to get another pack of tissues to do that.

I can’t stop crying as I write this.

Oh, how could I forget to mention your quirkiness?

You are by far one of the craziest, quirky people I know.

For years, you drove around town with teddy bears in the back and front seat of your car.

You had them belted in and you would talk to them like they were your children.

You’re imagination and quirkiness is one of the most wonderful things about you Nan.

I love that you still have a huge collection of dolls and you speak to them when no one else is around.

I’m so lucky to have you in my life and I just want to tell you how much I love you.

Your sweet little voice on the end of the phone always makes me so happy.

I know, I should phone you more and from this day I promise to do so because when I thought I could’ve lost you again my heart broke into a million pieces.

I’m not ready to say good-bye just yet and I know you’re not either.

So keep pushing on, like you’ve done since you broke your hip.

You are incredibly strong, determined and stubborn so keep on being the trooper that you are.

I’ll be home for Christmas and I expect a hug, some laughs and to have a glass of champagne with you.

I love you so much Nan and I can’t wait to see you soon.

Stay strong.

Heidi x

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