I NEED to get something off my chest. I wouldn’t say it’s a confession but it’s been bugging me for a while, so I need to come clean.
For some of you, you won’t even care and that’s totally understandable but it’s eating me up on the inside and I feel like a walking contradiction.
I’ve recently had Botox injections. Not once, not twice but now three times.
I know. I’ve spent years telling everyone to love themselves and rock what they’ve got, when secretly after I turned 30 I got my first few injections.
I felt like I had betrayed you all, I was so embarrassed I wore a hat and headband for almost four weeks.
I think I told people I got it for free too, so they would kind of understand why I wanted to try it. That was a total lie.
The first time I got it, it must have been almost 18 months ago now and one of my friends asked if I just wanted to try it at her salon.
After staring at her perfect baby smooth forehead, I impulsively said yes and before I knew it I was ushered off into the other room to meet the doctor.
And then before I knew it, she was placing dots all over my forehead.
She then injected maybe eight shots of Botox. Within two minutes it was all over.
That afternoon I stared in the mirror for hours, waiting for the wrinkles to disappear. They didn’t.
One week later, it was still the same! So I went back for more.
I should have waited the entire two weeks like they tell you too but I was convinced mine didn’t work.
So after I begged the doctor, she gave a couple more injections. This time free of charge.
The next day, I woke up and my face was frozen. I had gone too far.
Think of every emoji face on your smart phone, well I couldn’t do any of them except this one:
My face was completely stuck and my eyebrows felt like they were sagging over the top of my eyes.
I honestly felt like I had a second pair of eyelids. Thankfully this only lasted a few weeks.
If we’re being really honest right now, then I have to say I really loved it, I felt 15 again and people were commenting on every pic I posted.
I have always had loads of wrinkles above my brows so to have that smooth, shiny, baby’s bottom in every photo I was one happy lady!
The battle in my head is where I am at right now and that’s why I wanted it, to be honest.
As I sit here in the waiting room at Medaesthetics, for my fourth round of injections, I still feel like I’ve let people down, and I’m still trying to convince myself that it’s OK.
But at the end of the day, should I really care what anyone else thinks?
No, I shouldn’t and that’s the message I should be spreading, do what makes you feel happy and confident.
I’ve always said I am a work in progress and I haven’t yet reached a point in my life where I have completely rid myself of those negative thoughts.
I’m not perfect and at times I am a contradiction. But what’s a little Botox here and there? If it makes me happy, then that’s what counts!
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