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Summer Sweat Problems

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Being a chick can be tough, we all know that!

 

For the men reading this who are asking ‘why,’ I have two words for you … childbirth and periods.

 

Just imagine pushing a mango out the tip of your penis. Once you have stopped wincing, consider that that’s what childbirth would feel like!

 

Now we have that out of the way, I’ll continue.

 

As I was saying, being a woman can be tough, especially in summer.

 

We are faced with battles every single day, like inner thigh chafe, sand in our swimmers (vaginas) and the dreaded muffin top from last winter’s weight gain.

 

For the last 32 years, I have been enduring something just as bad as chafe …

 

SWEAT!

 

Boob sweat, back sweat, neck sweat, hair sweat, bum sweat, even vagina sweat.

 

I have sweat everywhere and anywhere.

 

Now, I know men sweat all the time and to be honest, I find it quite sexy when a man sweats up a storm in his fresh, crisp white shirt and you see his sweat patches under his arms BUT as a chick, when this happens, I’m embarrassed.

 

This is why we need to take action.

 

From this day forward, I will wear my sweat with pride.

 

I will own it, not fight it!

 

My moustache sweat, I will no longer wear with shame. From today, I promise to NEVER wipe away those beads of sweat from hairy mo.

 

I will always embrace the ‘wet hair look’ over summer. I’ll continue to strut my stuff looking like someone who hasn’t had time to dry his or her hair.

 

Wearing sweat patches under my arms, boobs, back and bum will now be fashionable. I promise to no longer change my shirts or pants after a sweat session in my car on the way to work.

 

Patterns of sweat on clothes are so 2017!

 

I’ll continue to leave a puddle of sweat on EVERY chair after I’ve stood up. From this day forward, I’ll stand with confidence and will no longer sheepishly dust the chair off and run out of the restaurant or hairdresser embarrassed.

 

Looking like a drowned clown will no longer be an offence. Make-up will only be applied once, wearing it smudged will no longer be worthy of judgement.

 

As of today, I will buy grey pieces of clothing. For years I didn’t buy grey shirts, skirts or gym tops because I was too ashamed of the boob, back and bum sweat. I will now fill my wardrobe with grey!

 

Botox is so 2016. No more injections in the forehead to beat the sweat.

 

Actually, I take that one back. I don’t just get Botox for my sweat problems like I tell everyone. I also get Botox because I like the way my forehead looks with it. I am vain.

 

Let’s start embracing with a hashtag #sweatychicksembrace

Hit me up with your stories and pics @realheidi

 

Together we can sweat it out!

 

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