A FEW months back a beautiful woman by the name of Kim Bunney sent me a message and asked if she could share her story on my podcast, “Real Heidi, Real People, Real Stories” about her abortion.
She had been suffering from post traumatic stress disorder for years after she had one and she had made it her mission to help women through her business “Kim Bunney – Mindset Nutrition.”
After reading Kim’s story, I asked her in to record the podcast. We recorded the episode at the beginning of the year and I have sat on it since then.
I have questioned the release of it a few times.
Why? Because I am so afraid of judgement and what people will think.
It is an extremely sensitive taboo topic and I have been worried about people messaging Kim and myself hate mail and yelling at us on the street.
But after loads of conversations with friends and lots of thought, I have decided to share this very personal episode of both of us opening up about our abortions because in the end, what matters is that we reach people that are suffering in silence.
It’s raw, it’s confronting and it’s real…and it is our story!
After Kim approached me, I started having flashbacks of my termination and lots of emotions stirred within me that I thought I’d dealt with.
The day Kim came into record the episode and tell her story, I had no idea I was about to share mine but as soon as Kim sat in the studio, I blurted out my story.
Reliving the termination and this time of my life has definitely bought up some old emotions.
I was just a kid myself when I had mine and I had just celebrated turning 21. I was studying Public Relations at university in Bathurst and I was on the pill at the time.
My now ex-boyfriend and I decided to terminate the pregnancy after being told by the doctor that this was probably the best outcome, due to many things that at happened throughout the pregnancy.
I had no idea I was pregnant until I found out around 12 weeks, as I was still getting my period and I had no symptoms.
So over the course of that 12 weeks I had x-rays, general anesthetic, surgery on a lump in my foot, loads of alcohol and taken recreational drugs.
As the doctor explained to us, we had a high chance of having a deformed baby.
So after much heartache and many sleepless nights we decided to terminate the pregnancy.
I still remember every detail about the procedure like it was yesterday and just writing about this, my heart breaks. I hated myself for a very long time.
Kim’s story began when she was 27. She had just split from her long-term partner and two weeks later, they discovered she was pregnant.
Kim explains: “We discussed our options and while we both never wanted or expected that we would be faced with such a gut wrenching decision, we found ourselves there in that clinic.
“Never in my life have I felt so conflicted. I cried my way through the entire ultrasound and tried to hold it together in the operating room while the team prepped around me, making small chit chat about the weather and what I do for work.
“I’ll always remember how cold and disconnected everyone working in the clinic was, like I was having my wisdom teeth out, not terminating my baby’s life.”
Out of respect to her former partner, Kim did not go into the reasoning and justification for making their decision.
“We did what we thought was right, with the information we had and the mental head space we were both in at the time,” she said.
I hope we can break down the judgement and stigma around this topic, as many women have abortions every single day.
Over the past 12 years, I have met so many different women from all walks of life that have had abortions and often they only open up about it after a few drinks.
By sharing our stories, Kim and I hope to help others.
I haven’t shared my story to make you change your mind or your thoughts on this very polarising issue.
I wrote this for the women – and of course the men too – who have been down this path and are still suffering in silence.
I am with you and understand what you have been through.
I understand your guilt. I understand your pain. I understand your shame.
But most importantly, I understand that you made that decision because it was right for you at that time.
Do you want to write something?